How touching. I hope this isn't a graduate of the Rosetta Stone software package. This doesn't make any sense. I don't think the Chinese have a clue who Miss Marple is?

Yes, I would like to pleasure a senior citizen. FREAK! It doesn't matter if it's dark or not, it would be awkward to pleasure Miss Marple. I hope she isn't going to fall asleep halfway through it. Being a detective, she'll probably do minute-by-minute analyst of every move. Ruining the whole thing. I see the pick-a-random word wheel as at work, "partisan". So when did politics and sex mix? I hope sex doesn't become a mid-term election issue. "their overtures", who needs approval to pleasure Miss Marple, the AARP. Good gravy! Of course, after reading that, I was not in the mood. Not that, thinking of the whole female population.

Here's another Chinese e-mail about pleasure:

"By the sight of a public hero shivering with fright and never got over his terror as long as we remained. Out. And when we have our naked frailties hid, death had unbalanced your mind. He shut you up clock began to strike six. Before the first stroke."

I think this is just inappropriate. Yes, parts of my body do this. I just don't want to make it public. "Shut you up clock". WOW, The Chinese are starting to use ebonics, Yea, yea, What up, dog. Shhiittt. The only stroking I know has to do with a paddle and a boat

Click on the link that said "Stick your tool for hours" and your get more of the Chinese sex poet laureates.

An e-mail was sent to me with a question for a bunch of X-Acto knife blades I had for sale on eBay, and here's how it goes:

"sir i want this iteam so i want to repair my iphone fast would this be a right product to tack of the front glass plz let me know thx or even search on it plz i nned your help plz"

I though it was a spam message at first, but it was in my eBay message folder as well. Doctor's don't have the greatest handwriting, right. They also don't possess great English skills either. This email is from a person named Ahmed in Canada. He wishes to take a bunch of x-acto knife blade and attempt to surgically repair his i-Phone. From the message, at least the front glass of it. First, I hope it wasn't at his kitchen table and secondly I didn't want to get involved. Also, I didn't want to give him the wrong dianogosis, fry his $300 cell phone, and be responsible for a new one. I would get bad feedback from it no matter what happens. Also, the iPhone a fairly new object, isn't it. A local Canadian Apple dealer would of serviced the i-phone properly instead of attacking it as if it was a Frankenstein monster and ask me how to do it to boot. I always like people that ask you to search for something you have no previous knowledge of in these e-mail's. Like I have time to look at a whole bunch of websites on how to perform surgery on an i-Phone, i-Pod or any i-object. Good gravy. I left Ahmed a message stating I couldn't help him even though he was desperate and unplugged from the world for the first time in years.

I first heard about this was on the radio on April Fool's Day and though it was a joke. I researched it and it wasn't. This product goes into the "Marketing runamonk" file. Yes, Mr. Obama was elected president. Yes, he has captured the world by storm. Yes, everyone and their uncle is trying to make a buck off of his celebrity. Ike, Kennedy, Johnson, Cater, Reagan, and Clinton were great, marketable Presidents, I know this from watching hours upon hours of Antiques Roadshow. In 50 years, appraisers, possibility the same ones on TV today, stating President Obama captivate the Presidential collectible market with tons and tons of stuff. With the Chia Obama head, being the paramount of all Obama collectibles. Of course, I like the idea it comes in a smiling and an angry Obama head. Oh ya, not angry, determined, right determined. I think it's a joke, and is slightly racist because of the Chia plants making it like a Afro. This product is in poor taste and the Joseph Enterprise people are making a mockery of him and the office of President of the United States. My opinion.

I want to say thank you to the people involved at Walgreen's for realizing that Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia Obama is slightly racist. Thank you.

Pulled from my e-mails, Enjoy.

I felt a priggish distaste for the corruption you should absolutely follow my advice in every.

How To Give Your Lover Multiple Orgasms During Lovemaking

World into a heap of diamonds. Mr. Chumpleigh sulkily: i don't like mr. Gaitskill. I don't want would ever do that just — just to get the money. De sta. Rita (or dourada), i,serra do sappe, i,serra make gooseberry cream. Codle them green, and boil like sheep. Baa baa all day about this and that. Had carried on with a front row floss in new haven, as in veils to hide it. It was a want, a mania, pipkin with as much fair spring water as will hercule poirot was himself again the spell was a strong relish and interest in them. it was a and all this was told without overstepping the.

What the F$!?, I going to have you make the conclusion for this story.

God Bless the T.E.A. party participants, Thank you for letting your voices be heard. Let's keep the ball going. FUBO.

e-mail scams. Why people respond to them? Thank god, I am smart enough to read, laugh at it and go forward. Folks who get caught up in them...there must be something missing in there head. Read this one.

I am Miss Melanie Lizwelicha,22 years old native of Kenema district in the Eastern pronvince of Sierra Leone. I am the only child of my parents late Engr.and Mrs Hinghe Lizwelicha,who used to be a major dealer in gem-quality diamonds and also a politician.

Stop, there are problems here. First, Sierra Leone is one of the most backward, corrupt countries in the world. Why trust someone from this country to begin with? Second, what are gem-quality diamond. Is she talking about cubic-ziraconia? Let's continue...

I was born out of tragic fate, my mother died of cancer when I was only four years old and I was brought up with great care and love by my father before he met his own untimely death on his way back from a business trip abroad.

Stop! Ok, this is where the scam get's you thinking. They start messing with your emotions and lay the ground work to begin the process of reliving you of your money. Again, continue.

When he actually arrived at the airport, his driver when to pick him and on their way homethey had a fatal accident which killed his driver at the spot while my father spent three days in the hospital before he gave up the ghost.

Ahh, an original one, at least to me. Normally, the parents are killed all at once or by a mean, awful, jelious relavite. Of course, I feel bad for the driver and his family. Who's going to take care of them? I don't think Miss Melanie care one bit, because she's the victim not the poor driver and his family. Thank god, I live in America, where I won't get shot at work. Scratch that, I forgot the Post Office shootings and serial killer the postal service created over the years. Let's continue....

After his burial, my uncle seized all my father's properties and investments because of our traditional believe that I as a lady has no part in the family inherittance since I am supposed to eventually get married and leave the home. It was really hard on me as I had nothing to get on because of my uncles wicked attitude.

Enter the evil uncle. Shakespeare would have been proud, that his ideas still exist in e-mail scams. I hope that bastard dies at the end of the story.

However, my father told me an important secret while on his dying bed that he deposited the sum of five million, three hundred thousand US Dollars ( $5.3M) in a renown Financial Security company in neighbouring Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire,and also directed me to the documents of the ownership of the fund. My uncle has no knowledge whatsoever about this and he has long relocated abroad with his children at the heat of the Sierra leonean war. I'll give you the Financial security company's details when I've heard from you and more trust develops.

Here's the hook. The secret bank account, another corrupt, backwards country and a large stash of cash. The story has some holes in it already. If the accident was fatal, the father wouldn't survive the crash, he would dead no matter what. The accident would be serious. Again, I feel bad for the driver and his family. Why, the father didn't take care of his loyal servant? The poor guy was killed on the job. Screw the daughter, give the poor driver's family the money. Now, I am starting to hate this arrogant, selfish bitch. This uncle's got to be stupid not to know that his brother has money elsewhere. Of course, thugs and criminals aren't the smartest people in the world to begin with. They're just jelious about things they don't have.

Now, I am computing in the now, until the machine is obsolete. High speed wireless internet, 8 Gigs of RAM, video out of the ying-yang, 750 Gigs of hard drive space. (I don't know how to fill that much space yet.) I ordered an TV tuner card, so I could watch TV on the computer. How cool is that. Quad core processing at it's best. Just pure awesome.

I have decided tonight to redesign my website. Right now, I am listening to Doo-Wop and typing away happily merging every idea I ever have into make the best dang website I have ever made. Also, I am going to drop my 10 year ban on web advertising and make a go at it. I need a little help in pay my wireless internet bill. Keep posted over the next month (I'm being realistic) for changes to my website. Goodbye Victor, thanks for the many great Indian hits.

Additions to the website are going to be:

• Model railroading: Pictures and summary of some my model railroading projects.
• Fun Facts about Me: This is an attempt to open up and spout interesting stuff about me. (An ego fulfillment exercise)
• Project Pictures: Think of it as my "Handyman's Corner" without the duct tape (Ok, a little bit) and the extraordinary projects.

• My project page
• My alcohol page
• My model railroad page
• Finally, my apple page